Readers Say Only Idiots Drive These Cars (2024)

Idiots. They’re absolutely everywhere on the road, and they drive a whole lot of different vehicles. However, sometimes a car is just a bit of an idiot magnet. Whether that’s fair or not isn’t for me to say, but that’s what led us to last week’s question.

We wanted to know what cars you all thought were only driven by idiots, and oh my God, you all had some answers. I’ve been at Jalopnik for a while now, and I’ve never seen a QOTD response like this. Between our website, Facebook and X (it’s still Twitter in my heart), we received over 1,000 answers to this question. Y’all have some opinions.

We’ve got plenty of the stuff you’d expect: lifted trucks, tuned performance cars and Teslas, but there were also plenty of off-the-wall answers I never even thought of. That’s where the really good stuff lies.

Anyway, why don’t ya start clicking and see which cars your fellow Jalops think are only driven by idiots? Hopefully, yours isn’t on the list.

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2 / 24

The Nissan Altima is the obvious answer, but there’s another that I’ve observed in my commute: Dodge Chargers. They’re getting up there in years and don’t hold value. As a result, they’re landing in buy-here pay-here lots and being snatched up by idiots.

I love the Charger. May she rest in peace, but unfortunately, you are correct. They are driven by idiots (and cops).

Submitted by: Midlife Miata Driver

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3 / 24

I’m really confused as to why Tesla hasn’t swept this competition. There are SO many of them on the road, and it’s a Model S, it’ll have vanity plates.

Yes, WE KNOW it does an acceleration trick. Yes, WE EXPECT you to use it as soon as we move left to pass you.

Anyone with a vanity plate is someone I’d like to never meet in person. This is even more true if your vanity plate alludes to the fact you own an electric vehicle.

Submitted by: tallestdwarf

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4 / 24

Not a unique or innovative answer, but it’s the Cybertruck. Every single one of us knows that it’s the Cybertruck.

You’re not wrong, amigo. Lady Gaga is really letting us down.

Submitted by: Hello Sparky

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5 / 24

Tesla 3. All the leased Audi and BMW douchebag drivers migrated over to the next hawt thing - the Tesla 3.

A few years from now we are going to look at the Tesla Model 3 the same way we look at the Nissan Altima. Book it.

Submitted by: Faht Foundation

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6 / 24

I saw a Hellcat Charger or challenger not sure which one, smash a light pole off Jamboree near Hwy 1 yesterday, But that was to be expected...My actual nominee is the Freakin Tahoe. First of all the dam thing is too big, they are driven by short people so they can feel “safe”, but don’t even know the dimensions of their own car to make basic maneuvers, And they are always in the way. For example you’re on a 2 lane street coming up to a stop sign with a crosswalk so you get to the stop sign, try to look both ways and here comes this GIANT DUMB THING stopping A. Over the line, and B. stops right next to you so now 50% of your vision is gone and now you hesitate to even go because you can’t see if something or someone is coming. And they are always trying to go down small streets, get rid of these things.

Oh, I get it. You hate freedom. Noted.

Submitted by: darthspartan117

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7 / 24

Squatted trucks. I don’t need to say anymore.....

I’m very ashamed to say it, but I actually think the Carolina Squat looks really cool. Maybe I am an idiot (I am).

Submitted by: PDM33

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8 / 24

Could it be said that the same type of idiot that liked the G35/37 coupe also went for the Hyundai Genesis Coupe? Even John Krafci, the USA Hyundai president and CEO at the time, claimed it was built “...to deliver a driving experience that challenges cars like the Infiniti G37". So, are the Genesis Coupe drivers guilty of being idiots by association, or were they the ones smart enough to pick the better sports coupe? Most of the ones I see on the road these days have the same aftermarket boy-racer mods and are generally driven like the Infiniti coupes (hilariously over-aggressive), so maybe when bought new it was the former and as they change ownership hands it begins to devolve into the latter.

Where did all the Genesis Coupes go? They used to be absolutely everywhere. I’m going to assume every last one of them has been crashed into a ditch.

Submitted by: paradsecar

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9 / 24

Anything with a crackle/pop tune. The most common offenders by me are BMW 3 series who just endlessly accelerate and slam on the brakes for maximum pop. Good amount of WRXs too. As an old man now, there seems to be a new scene in the WRX world where the ideal is to not have a clean and nice appearing car, but to have mismatched wheels, different color body panels, straight pipes, and a general ratty look to them. And they are consistently driven by the absolute worst people.

Totally fair, tbh.

Submitted by: Kerberos824

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10 / 24

Whenever you see a Audi RS3 or a VW Golf R, you just know it’s an egomaniacal 25 year old mobile phone accessories shop employee living with his parents, who is about to mount the pavement to get past you at a junction. Every. Single. Time.

This feels oddly specific. Who hurt you?

Submitted by: moo369

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11 / 24

Any Hummer that isn’t owned by an actual government military agency.

This is the classic answer. I respect it.

Submitted by: Paaron

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12 / 24

Well considering most people are assholes the low-hanging fruit is “every car.”

But for article purposes:

Pickups that aren’t used to haul things. Especially ones with lifts, wheel spacers, glass packs (or better yet semi-style exhaust stacks in the bed), Calvin pissing on something, testicl*s hanging from the bumper, or my personal favorite, the one that had most of the above plus a bumper sticker blaming Biden for the price of gas.

Audi A/S3s, BMW 3s. Particularly my neighbor’s f*cking kid who’s 25 and still living at home where he straight-piped his A3 and roars out of the neighborhood every few hours, particularly when the 11-year-old blonde girl across the street is outside, which is both obnoxious and creepy as f*ck.

Any modern muscle car.

Anything that might have been on the cover of Sport Compact Car.

Harleys, especially with modified exhausts. If you really had to rev the motor that much at stop lights to keep it running then guess what, your bike’s a piece of sh*t and you should probably put a muffler on it so people don’t notice.

Dude, you’re my hero. I love hating so much.

Submitted by: iska2000

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13 / 24

Any model of Lexus. Think Altima drivers, but with a false sense of bougieness and complete lack of sense on the roads.

No Lexus driver has ever done anything of note.

Submitted by: BB&J: The poster currently known as BB&J

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14 / 24

I’m going to go with maybe a surprising choice: Subarus. And not even ones that have performance mods. In my area (New England), just the regular old Forrester. You know that series of commercials where it shows multiple families (usually with dad driving) almost dying because of distracted driving, but they are saved at the last minute by a Subaru safety feature? If you have a Forrester where I live, you took those commercials as instructions for driving. You will weave in and out of lanes, not out of aggression, but because staying in between the lines is somehow beyond your driving abilities. You will not notice when lights turn green (or red). You will make left hand turns from the far right lane. You will drive aimlessly and unpredictably through parking lots. You will always double park. I’m starting to think that you have to show proof that your driver’s license is actually suspended just to take a test drive.

I appreciate the creativity. WRXs and STIs are so obvious.

Submitted by: preparetosurgetosublightspeed

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15 / 24

Haven’t seen any specific mention of the Mustang yet. Has the Mustang crowd finally grown out of doing burnouts at parking lot exits? Or have they moved on to another car?

I miss Mustang memes. It’s been a while since one has popped up for me.

Submitted by: Dr.Kamiya

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16 / 24

No reason to stereotype, but I think most would agree by definition this fits...

I’m going to bare my soul for a second. I’ve never seen this movie.

Submitted by: gokstate

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17 / 24

Easy! The S10 Blazer, specifically the ZR2 version. Every single owner I have ever met is a dipsh*t douchebag idiot. Camaro, BMW, Range Rover drivers? They’re a mixture, with certain stereotypes applied, but it’s not unanimous.

For the S10 ZR2.... if you ever owned one, it’s too late for you.

Okay, but seriously: how may S10 Blazer ZR2s have you come in contact with that made you form this opinion? I’m honestly confused.

Submitted by: Maha

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18 / 24

I would have to say a BMW Z4 (non- real M Coupe version). They’re owned by the type of people sheeple who say they blindly believe any information they hear on news programs like MSNBC or The View and can’t think for themselves. (For The Record, I do not own nor have ever owned anything made by Infiniti nor anything…

Oh I get it. You want to fight.

Submitted by: SinglespeedMTB

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19 / 24

Mercedes G-Wagon drivers. Every time I see one on my commute to work, its either cutting off someone without using a signal, passing someone on the shoulder and/or honking and hitting the high beams to get someone out of their way. Most of the time they are doing all 3.

You objectively wrong. The G-Wagon is cool and is only driven by interesting people.

Submitted by: dumbgreek

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20 / 24

Corolla drivers.

They’re all completely oblivious to other cars on the road and make absolutely baffling decisions that puts all other cars in danger. And I have to highlight baffling. They not just bad drivers. I swear they hate driving and would rather be doing anything else in the world but driving, and therefore their skills on the road line up with somebody that’s equal parts terrified and mindless.

Turning left at an intersection from the right lane? Yep.

Merging into traffic at 2km/h and stopping in the left lane to check your windshield? Check.

Roll through a 4-way stop without slowing? All the time.

Driving into the second story of a house? Of course!

Corolla drivers terrify me. I will actively stay away from them on the road.

This is too easy. There are so many Corollas out there that there are gonna be a bunch of assholes who drive them.

Submitted by: dolsh

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21 / 24

I have a vendor whose sales rep drives one of these; she calls it a “Rangey”.

The woman is one of the most bubble-headed individuals i have ever known.

The Sport is definitely more for idiots than the regular Range Rover. I will admit that. However, it’s still a great car.

Submitted by: Earthbound Misfit I

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22 / 24

Hellcats. As a Hellcat owner I approve this message.

I respect the hell out of you, man.

Submitted by: Science Doesn’t Care What You Believe

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23 / 24

What do you drive? There’s your answer.

Not one single car is driven only by idiots.

Listen,,,,,, Don’t be a killjoy.

Submitted by: Cal67

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